Old songs , old stories we held hands and shared laughters in those nostalgic moments. I thought I found a friend .
Turbulence , tears of challenges , losing our way along the journey . I still believe in our friendship .
We patched up , stay connected .. I turned deaf to stories that I heard . I believe I know your soul as you see my core .
I was wrong … I see a shade that is far from what I used to know . Some says this has always been you .. while others said I saw it all along and just let it pass for the sake of our friendship.
Now , I have enough .. enough of this pretentious color .. I can’t and I won’t … I must burn this bridge of frienship .
Goodbye
Don’t linger on the years that you have spent .. a lifetime is too short to waste .
There is this point in ourlives that we face with situations that we are not comfortable with . No matter how you would choose to look at it tackle it you will still end up being hurt.
There moments in ourlives that we are painted by the colors that does not describe the totally of us. It was a color that once came due to a situation. This becomes your color. No matter how many times you became a brighter shade. There will always be people that will remember you as a dark tone .
Months I have struggled , I wanted to prove them wrong , I wanted to unhurt myself by understanding the situation. But I can’t . So the cycle of being judge , feeling unsure circles around me.
Until that moment that I realized I know me better that anyone else . I am me , I am not perfect , I am a person that is embodied with different shades . I am colorful . I accept me and I love me …that is all that matters. I will wipe my tears look up to the sun …
I will shine because I am colorful … I am free .. I have learn and I am a beautiful imperfect soul .
“I owned my smile , I owned my happiness ” one of my many day to day mantra .
I smile even if the situation is very hurting and confusing for I believed behind the facade of this situation is a rainbow of lessons awaits me . Lessons that would hone me into a better version of me .
I smile even if tears are rolling down from my cheeks for I believed every sorrow that I have walked through will make me stronger .
Even if it will rain I will smile with grateful heart for I know behind that storm clouds awaits the sunshine of joy.
I will smile to lighten one’s soul , to give them encouragement that no matter what, it is going to be okey .
Choose to share your smile , choose to be happy no matter what , choose to be a better You
Choose to smile to lighten one’s soul . Choose your inner joy
A friend of mine once told me a story about a hermit crab and how it changes it’s shell once it becomes too small for them .
This story is one of my reminder everytime things get tough , uneasy and change is inevitable . Like a Hermit crab i should be ready to adopt the changes that are coming , let go of attachments and just move on with the lessons that I have learned from my previous experiences .
Life’s constant variable is change . We grow in a space and at times leave people that no longer embraces our new views . We are constantly face with situations that needs for us to be flexible, patience and brave .
I am in a dawn of change …My heart longed no more to the ones that I used to be passionate . She seeks no more the company of those who used to give her a smile.
I am moving forward , I am letting go of something to be able to embrace a much better future ..
Look up , take a breath , whisper a mantra ” I am water , I am air , I am the universe within me” . I am ready …
No matter what I will always choose to love , to be happy and to be kind ..
I read somewhere that in life’s survival we need to see the eight years old version of us and the eighty years old to guide us.
In my case I would like to reflect on that little chubby four or so girl who refuses to conform to what the society asked her to do .
I started early on going to school. At one point , I was not allowed to attend the classes because I was too young and there was not enough chairs for the legimate pre-schooler . But I love the free calamansi drink that the Protestant kindergarten school gave to their pre schooler that I have convinced my mother to buy me a chair . The following I walked confidently to the classroom bringing my own chair and a glass ( for the calamansi ) . There was no more reason that I was not allowed to attend those delicious and fun classes . For the next 4 years I have attended the kindergarten ( started as visitor at the age of two or something then nursery , kinder 1 and 2 )
Before my kinder 2 ends I have accompanied a cousin of mine who would take an entrance exam at a private elementary school .. at the end of the day I was accepted to joined the first grader for the following school year . I was five almost six I feel like I conquer the world 🙂
By March 1980, I was invited together with my parents to attend the recognition day since I was one of the top 10 in my class. My mother was still doing errands and I got anxious that I have to be late for the awarding ceremony that I took the matters in my hands I wore a green long dress ( I felt so pretty ) and wore my slippers ( not the fancy ones ) and halted a tricycle (a public transportation typical in the Philiplines) that brought to my school .
This is the typical me , I dont wait for things to happen .. as much as possible and if I can I will make it happen . You see me with my wide smile easy to talk aura and I would most of the time give in easily … But the one’s that I would say NO are non negotiable .
My bounderies have a clear cut if you step on it I would politely ask you to step back but if you persist…with a smile I am closing my doors .
At eight or so I have my own rules .. These rules that has guided me through the rough patches of my journey . When I would reflect the eighty in me I know I will have no regrets .
My heart is big , full of kindness and my trust is difficult to win .. But if and if I think its too much I have no second thoughts of taking people out of my life . For I believe that the last person that I should disappoint is ME .
I am scribbling randomly because I feel like it .. My way , my Rules ..
You don’t need a him to make you feel good , needed or Love .
You don’t have to compare yourself to someone else . For you are unique and perfectly imperfect.
Don’t allow yourself to hold on to hate, hurt and bitterness. You are more than that .
Choose and allow yourself to forgive to those who have wrong you . You don’t have to be thier friends nor foe .. Just a person who will stand at the sideline and respect them.
Do this all not for their sake ..but for your own happiness …For you cannot exude kindness if there is bitterness in your heart ..or love when hurt and hate reign
Let Love forgiveness and kindness illuminate your soul .. You are enough , You are love and You are important .
Always , always let the sun in you shine . No matter what
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