Yes, I’ve arrived at that phase of life. My knees? Oh, they’ve made a dramatic exit, thanks to arthritis. The cartilage in both knees is gone, which means my favorite activities have vanished too—goodbye, running and yoga! And let me tell you, that goodbye hurt more than my joints.
Meanwhile, my hormones are acting like a fireworks display, constantly going off without warning. This means I can go from weeping over a commercial to snapping at someone for breathing wrong—all in the same hour. And let’s not even get started on the sugar cravings, courtesy of glucose levels playing hopscotch every day. My belly fat? It’s taken on a life of its own, and I swear it’s plotting something.
Here comes the vicious cycle: “I can’t exercise because my joints hurt, which means I gain weight, which makes my joints hurt even more.” Exhausting, right? Well, one day I decided: Enough. There has to be more to menopause than this chaos. I wanted the 51-year-old version of me to be healthier, stronger, and maybe even a little fiercer.
So, what did I do? I became a cougar 浪. Enter: the most handsome coach in the world. Picture this: piercing blue eyes, full of concern (or maybe just mild amusement). Our first conversation went something like this:
Coach (gazing at me, probably wondering if I’m serious): “What do you want to happen with your body?”
Me: “Uhm, well, I don’t want to be Barbie… but I’d love to be fit, wrangle this midline before it gives me a cardiac arrest, and be able to jog at 70.”
Now, my coach doesn’t mess around. He pushes me to break my limits but always respects my limitations. He doesn’t care that I’m 51. “The body follows where the mind leads,” he says, which sounds so inspiring until you’re gasping for air after 20 squats.
So here I am, a month in, lifting weights—30 kg, 6 sets of 3 reps, deadlifts, and squats. My knees are getting stronger, and I can almost hear them whispering, “Thank you.” My coach, still the ruthless gentleman, has slowly reintroduced the treadmill into my life, though I keep begging him to let me run on real terrain. His answer: “Soon. Not yet. Patience.”
Menopause and aging may throw curveballs, but they don’t have to steal the things we love. Two months from now, I’ll be back to my morning yoga or jogging short distances—mark my words.
This is healing. I love me, and that means I’m going to take care of me.
Coach and I call this “wonder woman”project . I always wonder ..😄😄😄
When I was younger, I always envisioned an angel as having long blonde hair, wearing a white dress, and possessing fluffy wings. She had a beautiful smile that could lighten any load.
But as I grew older, I realized that angels come in many forms—short, tall, Black, white, men, women, or anything in between.
It maybe a kind face that is willing to give you a smile
An angel is more than just a celestial being; it’s a metaphor for a blessing, a symbol of hope, and a source of light that can make you smile when life feels hard to define.
We are all angels in our own way.
As my favorite author once said, “We are like angels with one wing; we need each other to be able to fly.”
Love, kindness , compassion and prayers is all we need to get through those days that are very challenging
So, choose to be an angel in someone’s life today.
A gift by a friend who see me through my soul , my being ..
There are moments that we keep close in our hearts . Moments that sparks of joy to our souls and bring a smile to our lips . .. These moments are not huge they are just pulses of life that we sometimes take for granted . A warm hug , a cake and good company.
The pulses of life
Cherish ,them took a portrait of that moment.
Portraits are the mirror of us in the eyes of those who loves us and despise us . Portraits reflects a moment in time. It brings us back to a nostalgic road of joy and at times path of lessons that have been resulted from broken relationships.
Broken relationships are not necessarily be a bad thing or a bad experience … it is a journey of growth and self development as we better ourselves.We change and we grow apart. I am thankful for the lessons for those who broke me ..For it is to them that I grow .. It’s with them that I become a better version of meyself.
As I walk in this path of cherished moments ,I will always take portraits of special moments.
I used to say to myself, “The detours that we took in our journey will armor us on the path that we will take and eventually achieve the outcome that we always hope for.” This is a story of the journey that my mother and I took early this year.
January 30, 2024
This all started in late January when the routine blood test of my mother came back. The result stated that she has a low red blood count. She told her doctor that maybe it’s because she does not eat too much meat as she used to. Her doctor shrugged off her reasoning and insisted on further laboratory tests. It was during this lab test that it was discovered that there were traces of blood in her feces, although it was still inconclusive.
Valentine’s Day 2024
On the 14th of February, a colonoscopy was performed and it was seen that she has one large “polyp” that can only be removed through surgery. A sample was taken for biopsy and we were scheduled for a CT scan.
Silver Lining Moment
It was in those moments when you entered a consultation room greeted with a very friendly face of the specialist until she would break down everything.
Her large polyps have turned out to be a malignant tumor and the polyps that were removed have also started to develop some tumors. Hence, on the 17th of February, my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer.
BUT! It was caught on time. On the 21st of February, the cancer cells were all removed.
Cancer
This is an illness that we have heard or witnessed from afar; most of the time, it is very scary to hear all those stories or to witness how a dear friend combats this illness. My view towards cancer has changed. I am no longer scared of cancer, for I know that if we listen to our body and consider symptoms as the “shout for help” signal of our body, cancer can be curable. It’s a hard road at times, but there is always a bright light at the end of every treatment.
It has a different impact when you are in the eye of the storm. You have no time to process every single detail; all that matters is to get through this and be over it.
I gave no space for myself or my mother to question why it happened or to a moment of self-pity. This road becomes less scary and more heartwarming when you know that you are not alone, when you see those brave, friendly faces in the chemo center trying to tell their stories, giving each other encouragement and support.
Cancer has plenty of faces; no cancer is identical even if it has the same name. As the surgeon of my Mother said, “No diagnoses are the same.” It is always different, but there is one thing in common: JUST BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO TAKE THAT TEST TO SAVE YOUR LIFE like my Mother.
Road to Recovery
The surgery went well and we are now almost back to our normal routine. We are on our 2nd preventive chemo (4 more to go) and we are doing quite well except for those every now and then discomforts which can be treated with non-nausea medicine.
My Mother and I have a lot to be grateful for despite the early hiccups. We will get through this with flying colors.
We have always been a victors.. My mama and I have walked together the 110 km Camino de Santiago Compostella
Reflections
The detours that I made prepared me to take on this path. I am humbled and grateful to the Lord for He has armored me with strength, submerged me with knowledge through the experiences that I had. He made me a better support for my Mother.
The road to recovery is here and I would always tell my Mother, “Embrace your 3rd life, live with love, with no doubt of tomorrow, for every day is tomorrow and every day is a miracle to be thankful for. Let us embrace life with more passion, with more laughter, and joy.”
Our Support System
There is no path too steep or scary when someone is there to hold your hands, wipe your tears, and give you a knowing nod.
Whenever I am scared and feel alone, I’m glad that you are there to give me that “it’s all okay” talk. Mommy Nao, your calmness when I am crushed gives me strength; Titay, I am amazed by the maturity that you have shown me, you are my “it’s okay” person.
I am lucky to have amazing friends, especially to my Noonas Barbie and Charina, who have allowed me to vent out my paranoia during those uncertain moments. Noonas, thank you so much for listening without prejudice, thank you for gently telling me that it is okay what I felt but I need to face this with facts for my own peace of mind. To my bff Den, thank you for the encouragement to get tested and be over it. You guys restored my sanity. To Felda, Tots, Fatsie; Lore, Marelle, and the rest of my Moonwalkers, thank you for that silent support.
To my Irish family, Mumshies, thank you for those notes or calls to check up on me and mama.
Lastly, to DAD, you are such a wonderful person. Thank you for being the source of her smile and being her prayer partner from day one.
“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”― Neil Gaiman, Coraline
Paths that we walked ,tunnels of pain that we go through will always end with a green fields of Hope , new beginnings and joy
My tears are dried , my wounds have been healed and lessons have been taught .
I smile , walk through the rainbows ,dance to the rhythm of the rain as my heart sing with the melody of the wind .
Out of nowhere there you are standing at the other side of the burning bridge .. There you are extending your hands of friendship..
What now?
You are in the other end singing a melody that we used to sing together ..
My dear my tone , my tune my rhythm has changed .. We couldn’t dance with that music again
I have let go ,I have forgiven , I have learned, and I thank you for standing at the other end .. But I love where I am standing that walking back and holding your hands doesn’t give me the same feeling of trust ..
Maybe one day I will nod and say hello to the friendship that we once have .. maybe ..
❤️
My sun is shinning and my path has a different direction now.. I am happier , I am at peace …
“In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.”
— John Muir
Introduction
It has been weeks since we have finished the walked in Santiago de Compostela . Weeks seems like days and we have our own way of holding on to that special week of ourlives .
Back to reality
REDISCOVERING OURSELVES
Before the Camino we have this pre concieve notion of ourselves . This is manifested with the line of thinking of ” gosh I am old can’t walk that far.” Or the feeling of we have been friends like forever she will never surprise me.
The week that we have walked redefine our limits, our kindness , our friendship , our determination and our patience .
-REDEFINING OUR LIMITS.
This was that moment that some of you hiked up the hills of Sarria or that moment that Beh Sally just walked in the dark bushes of Palas de Rei not wanting to stop , or ate Violy and Tes saying that that they can only walked 5 hrs a day but ended up doing two 21km , or Mader and Ate cing who walked 28 km .. Their Faith redefine their limits and Hope formed our Determination to see the end of the camino .
– Being Kind in a different level
We shared a certain attentiveness to our fellow peregerinos , experiencing the warmth of their testimonies .
We extend our helping hands without any second thoughts it was like the Cuban Lady story .
“It was one of those downhill trail that we have noticed her. She struggle for her steps as she decends. She was walking alone , her group went ahead . A half blind Cuban lady determine to walk her 115 km pilgrimage trial.
I took her cane, hold her hand as we go down one step at a time ..
She said ” thank you for your time and kindness “
No matter what language you are speaking or nationality . We can always understand gratitude and kindness.”
-The Test of Friendship and Patience
For quiet sometime now I have been traveling with friends and we have this anecdote that says ” we will not travel together for more than 3 days or else we will be with each others nerves .”
Traveling with friend is a break or make things especially if you have been confronted with circumstances like fatique , hunger and all that is in between .
Little rifts arises , walk outs and of course the infamous exchange of words .. we were tired at times wet and most of the time hungry. It was the glare of kuya Libs towards kuya Rey during one of those discussions .. its when kuya Libs just walked away and at our first stop Kuya Rey would buy him a water ..then they smiled towards each other
In us , with us is the Love for our Friend ,it is not those clashes that counts it was those undefine reconciliations ,we never knew when or how but we hug and say sorry .. we moved on .
To Conclude
As we continue with our daily lives , we know that we have been formed by thd bug of the camino , Mader bravely walked more than 10,000 a day when it was a struggle before . As Kuya Libs roamed around Boston and NYC with the itch of the Camino in his heart . And I continued to eat nuts and raisens ( typical lunch that kuya Libs and Ate Beth).
As Ate Luz and I have agreed that the camino have strengthen our friendship .
Above all, there is this unspoken bond that has been created in each one of us .
We continue to say “Buen Camino” to each other…let that bug of kindness and love continue to reign in our hearts ..
jee426 