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  • Jennifer

    The magic of friendship comes in a very unexpected moment it will just spark and glow.

    Thirty years after highschool I met you again shy but fiesty. Given a certain situation you would expressed your thoughts without any hesitation . It is at times the unedited version of the whole scenario that is playing in my mind, you just have articulated it they way that you have seen and felt it ( I would have the edited version ) . A refreshing way of looking into your perception on a situation .

    With this, Chuckie, Ter Krims my endearment for you is born ..you would put me off balance no matter how much I would practice yoga and daily meditation.. you could make me blush like a tomatoes and caught my simple supposedly unmarked actions .

    I love the way our friendship grows . You, Teh and Dangs color my rainbow

    a little bit brighter that it used to be.

    Thank God for being you. The YOU that would stand for your friends regardless of what. The YOU that would make us laugh , smile and The YOU that would surprise us .

    Happy birthday Chuckie we love you so much

    June 13, 2020

  • Cocoon

    Dedication

    Randall Joseph Dy. Prado (1976-2007)

    Forever grateful to be called your atchie

    Introduction

    Cocoon is a silky web of spun that helps a caterpillar transform into a beautiful butterfly. In our life a turbulence of emotions and experiences can also be considered as a cocoon. For as we come out of a certain situation we are transformed into a better version of us . My moments of cocooning; rising up and choosing to become a butterfly.

    Caterpillar in Me

    September 20, 2007 it was the day that I knew how it feels to lose someone you love . It was the day that death becomes Him. I lost my youngest brother and my closest friend . I remember the excruciating pain. A Pain that up to this day leaves an imprint to my heart and soul.

    This was our most painful and longest flight that my Mother, my Brother and myself have ever took going back home.

    I can still remember in my silence I would take a deep breath played strong and would comfort my mother, my sister in law and brother . I need to be the rock to carry them through till the end of the whole process . I took my own emotions aside .. I know I can deal with her later after I am sure that all my loved ones were comforted .

    Like a caterpillar I would swallow as much grief and sorrow that my mother and brother has . Until it was time for me to take my moment to deal with my grief , retreated to myself cried when no one can see me . Dried my tears and put on smile to comfort my mother . I didn’t count the months or the years that has passed . I just took my time to learned and absorbed all the things that happened around me.

    Until that morning….

    The Encounter

    Usually between the 1st week of September till the last week that my brother had lived , I would relived the whole event over and over again . This was the time of the year where I would ran longer distances than I used to so I could numb the pain and the self blaming ( I would blamed myself for not doing good enough , yes me, myself and I were not friend yet.)

    Until that one morning, I was with my usual fierce numbing moment , I met a lady who was having a leisure walked . She smiled at and I nod back , then she started talking me , irritated but trying to be polite ; I slowed down and engaged the conversations with her. I can still remember vividly how she smiled at me and asked why are you punishing yourself ? your brother doesn’t like seeing you like this .. Surprise, I looked at her without a word she just hugged me and I have cried like I have never cried for ages . It felt like I have let go of a burden that was in me for years .

    I lost my beliefs in Angels and my faith was damaged deeply when my brother did His journey to eternity . But all those questions, doubts were answered that morning , She was an Angel in disguise so as I have choose to believed up to this day . She has helped me understand death and acceptance .

    We could never defeat Death and accepting the outcome of fate doesn’t have to do with who wins or loses the battle .It is just LIFE and its painful cycle.

    I picked up my pieces , I am ready ….

    Reflections

    In life we would encounter moments that could break us , experiences that could enriched us . Everytime I get broken I turned into me , reflected the experiences and learned from it . Each time I am hurt I will take time to cry but I will always dried my tears and turned at the situation with forgiveness and a smile.

    It will always take time to processed everything like a caterpillar that would take time to transform.

    But at the end of every turbulence when we are done cocooning , We will not become a colorless bitter moth .

    We will choose to be a butterfly with colourful wings that will have the enthusiasm to explore the different scents and colors of life.

    Let that colourful wings of ours engulf the energy of Love , Wisdom and Strength that has embodied US in every life experiences.

    Tink

    *fun facts to know : cocooning was a word by Ms. Faith Popcorn

    April 12, 2020
    #journeychronicles #lifeinspiration #selflove #bravelife, #overcominggrief

  • Ode to Shiloh

    How can a pretty small soul warmth my heart deeply?

    you have taught me lessons from a far , you made me believe in miracle again

    My pretty little soul I have witness in a distant how you fought and how you gave hope .

    Shiloh, I would really loved to meet you and spoil you the way a Tinkie should do .

    Its has been months since your fluffy wings have grown and your halo shines up above us .

    I am always thankful that I have witness your miracle

    Forever , you will be my feisty little angel with glittery halo and Tinkie knows deep in her heart that you are somewhere in that beautiful rainbow of souls , you are watching us.

    Tink

    April 9, 2020

  • Love Oh Love

    Introduction

    This is to all of you who have taught me the beauty and lessons of Love . Those of you who guided me through the different phases and faces of Love. I will try to peel Love in my own way, Here is my own version of Love oh My love .

    The Love Giver

    As an eldest in the family it has always been a given fact that I would take care of my younger siblings whether they were my brothers or my cousins . My nurturing skills has been developed at an early age ; I don’t mind taking sacrifices just for the sake of the well being of those who are dear to me .

    During my younger years , at the time when the marriage of my parents were so troubled and they fought furiously , I would end up fighting back to my father to protect my mother and brothers . I would get hurt , but it was all worth it as long as my brothers were protected and my mother was spared from his abused and fist .

    Years I have been a Love giver , I don’t mind if it was not reciprocated they way it should be all that matters was that they were happy and I believed that I was too . As a Love giver it is very surprising to be loved . A process that I have to learned and told myself I am worth a love just like others .

    Yes, we also have to be the Love receiver . It is in this cycle that we filled our cup to be able to give again . For we can not give what we don’t have .I have observed that if my Love cup is empty self -pity and unworthiness comes .

    We should give love because we are overflowing from it. I share love with a smile and without expectations . If you have read my Journey to Self Awakening : Discovering the Inner Strength I have discussed there the “FIRE” that glows in the middle of my stomach .. It is also that same fire that I would touch to let the love in me glow and warmth those people that I cared for. Learning the beauty of being a love giver through topping up from love that I have received around me, turns Love into compassion and kindness .

    Loving Me, Myself and I

    ” Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever” – Brene Brown

    Ever since I encountered Love , the phrase LOVE THY Self was the first quote that I have learned. As I grew older I started to asked what does it really means by Loving THY SELF. Loving Me means I should be my own bestfriend, But we have a problem here for I am more of my own critic than a friend. This is the irony of all ironies I don’t know how to be my friend , everytime I commit a mistake or a not so good decision everyone around me would say it is okay except me . For days I would shame myself for not performing well, I see the microscopic imperfections and all others that goes with it .

    Until that one moment in my life , I must make a choice that everyone disagreed and all the people that I thought would understand me turned their back on me . So, here I am face to face with myself . That meeting was awkward, I felt alone with a stranger within me .We started talking more, she tells me kind words and I would cry and she would comfort me . Myself becomes my rock my shelter.

    I become a friend to myself and love me for my imperfectness. This is the moment that I felt one with myself and it felt so good .I would own every mistakes that I made with understanding and embrace every scars of lessons with compassion .

    It is still a long process and there are days wherein as Ms.Brene Brown would call it in her book Daring Greatly “the gremlins of shame” would be kicking my ass but like a monk I would take a deep breath and would search inside me for the sunlight of courage that would kill these gremlins .

    No matter how bruise I am, as long as I will show up for me with that loving gaze , then I know I will be okay.

    I am proud of me because I am brave enough to love me with vulnerability.

    Essence of Love

    Let me end this journal with a thought that Love is showing up for yourself and for others with kindness, compassion and understanding . It is giving without any expectations in return.

    Love is fighting for yourself with grace and dignity .

    You are the most beautiful form of LOVE that this universe ever have.

    Let the loving energy within you sparks .

    T!nk

      April 1, 2020

    • Moonwalkers

      You have captured my heart in many ways, you gave me both reason to frown and to smile. There are times that I just want to stop , to distance myself from all of these . I love and care too deep that it made me vulnerable . This scares me , for aside from my family, no one have ever penetrated my emotions this deep . Yes, Moonwalkers you are like little kryptonites that can weaken my superpowers .. So please be nice . ( I know the ” nice” definition moonwalkers way)

      I see each one of you , connected in different levels , hear your voices , your whispers , your laughter and stories . At times , I will just close my eyes to not see things I shouldn’t have witnessed or play deaf so I hear no stories that is not intended for me.

      Moonwalkers, you are full of complexity , but despite of this I would still take a bullet for you because I believe in our friendship , and vision . Your growth makes me proud never have I ever imagine that our vision and hope to touch lives especially those who needed most will become a reality. Hopefully we could continue to serve our community in our own little ways.

      Core , I am nothing without you . You are in so many ways my confidant, adviser and cheerer when things gets tough . Your enthusiasm is my inspiration and the assuring nod when I am in doubt. Thank you !

      On a fun note to end , Moonwalkers we will always be bullies till we are at our 80’s.. All the waiters in Butuan or elsewhere will be traumatize by our “dili mouli” attitude .. and bribe them with the last … super last order. And I hope when we will be at our 80s we will learn to talk and listen or can we minimize to not talk all at once?

      I love you Moonwalkers and hoping to keep this fire of friendship burning. Forever proud Moonwalker.

      T!nk

      Happy 1st Anniversary Moonwalkers
      • Video calling is one of the favorite moonwalkers pastime
      • Turnover of Printer at Bading Elementary School
      • our first community service
      • our way of celebrating our 1st year of reunification : We invited Jollibee to do a dance to the SPED school of Butuan City
      • Christmas /anniversary party Jan 6, 2020
      • the Core
      • A gift of gratitude to our Alma Mater
      • 100 families our next community project . Holy Redeemer
      • Happy 1st year Moonwalkers
      • Where it all started May 2019
      March 28, 2020

    • A Tribute to Friendship: Chuckie and The Rockstar

      They called themselves the twins from another womb. So different yet so alike . I call them Chuckie and The Rockstar .

      Chuckie

      She is very witty and a kin observant . When everyone is pointing and staring at the right direction she would dare to turn to the other side just so to give her intuition a certain satisfaction. Don’t be fool by her calmness for the storm of curios inquisitions would take you to prison. She is Chuckie, my beloved sister and friend .When we talk she rocks my world with laughter rolled with horror of amazement . She surprises me with her depth and sensitivity . She is both secure and insecure , bold and shy . I love her warmth ,her simple joy and the endless conversations that we at times shared . Her infectious laughter and her grateful heart.Chuckie doesn’t know that in so many ways she have touched the very core of being . I have learned so much from her . Chuckie will always be a part of the smile that my soul has .
      The Rockstar

      She is feisty , bubbly and full of stories . A powerhouse of ideas, she is both a comic and a sensitive soul . A devoted mother and friend , You can tell her almost everything and she will process it with open mind. The bully with a huge heart , our common friends love to tease her and she would gladly fight back, it is like in the arena of boxing . If you give her a jab she would give you an uppercut and a jab as a follow up blow..Her love for both her biological and classroom children is impeccable. She is willing to do just a little more sacrifice for their future . Voluntarily she gives them surprises may it be a cubies or a corner to hang out . A true educator by heart for she will never have a second thoughts of doing something as long as the children will benefit from it . Even if the rest of the world will be against her . A Rockstar indeed , for she cares to the people and things that matters most . She is still a working progress in tuning her emotions that would sometimes be flying due to her spontaneity and passion . You will get there my dear Rockstar.

      Our Friendship

      This is a three way road of a strong personalities bonded with the traffic rules of respect and love . We would share all kinds of stories from a metaphoric views to a very realistic brutally . We laugh at our silliness and embrace our stories with empathy and love . To have them as a fellow drivers in these crazy traffics makes the journey of life more fun meaningful and bearable .Thank you Chuckie and my favorite rockstar for riding this trip with me . Lets us explore more and grow deeper in this journey . I am forever grateful and humbled by this friendship that you have shared with me .As Tinkerbell said in the movie Tinkerbell and the lost treasures ” They cannot be held in your hands. They’re held within your heart. For worldly things will fade away as seasons come and go . But the treasure of true friendship will never lose its glow.”

      The glow of our friendship will always be wrap with pixie dust in my heart and will always be one of my happy thoughts .

      T!nk

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      March 22, 2020

    • A Tribute to Friendship : A Kindle Soul

      There is a candle in heart , ready to be kindle. There is a void in your soul ready to be filled. You feel it don’t you ? — RUMI

      Not so long ago in a wonderful road of friendship I met a pretty fragile soul . Her beauty exudes a warmth of innocence of a child that you wanted to protect. It is an image that you would easily be enraptured.

      For quite a time now, I have walked with her, We held hands as we took a start to this journey of friendship . Like a shy rainbow in the sky that is hides behind the clouds , I have discovered the shades of her fragilities . Red and orange flies when she smile , worries and frown over a situation may it be her own or someone dear to her. Blue, when she is hurt and sad , yellow , ooh I love when her shade turns to yellow for I see in her eyes and smile the hope that speaks of tomorrow. This happen so seldom for she is a worrier she cares and love too much, too deep . The deep sincerity that she has with our friendship is the Indigo of her rainbow .

      Those whom who witness her coolness over certain situations saw that violent purple of light shines within her.

      A kindled soul that awaits to spark , a shy rainbow that slowly creeps outside that clouds.

      My dear fragile beautiful soul let us walk more roads together for I am enjoying the sparks of light and colors around the spectrum of our friendship as we both filled the void of our souls .

      Forever grateful of your friendship.

      tink

      March 18, 2020

    • Journey towards Self Awakening : My Complications

      “Rain didn’t make things messy. People did all on their own .” — Barbara Delinsky , The Secret Between Us .

      It is when you have decided to just let it be . Enjoy and make the best of everything, The unexpected things happened .

      He walked in through that door like a cold hush of wind in that winter morning . He is aloof yet sweet, naughty yet decent, playful yet serious. A deciever yet honest . He would push you away to a distance that he could easily reach out for you. He is my complication

      He embodied everything that I detest yet I am drown closer to him. He is the tears that falls from eyes and the smile that curves my lips. He is my complication.

      Wiggle and struggle , tried to untangle this knot of connection towards my complication.

      Experienced multiples death towards this untanglement. Shattered my heart .

      Walk a far reaching for that Hand . The hand that exudes warmth of understanding and non judgemental .

      Cling on , as I wiggle and struggle.

      My complication is calling me like a tempter in a cold empty night . I hear him , I want to adhere , to surrender towards the voice of my complication .

      I cling on harder to the grip of this hand of friendship that understands the struggle of my innermost soul. I am thankful , I am lucky for he is my sanity .

      There he is again my wonderful tempter complication .

      T!nk

      March 10, 2020
      #complication, #grateful, #love #relationship, #lovepoetry #complication, friendship

    • TEH ( a birthday note for you)

      Its is always a pleasure to meet a very fragile , funny and fantastic soul once in an unexpected moment .

      We are so different yet so similiar and that is why I am like a body without a soul whenever we can’t talk or play games . Just to be around you in silence or with words is enough for me.

      Teh, you never know how much I have learned from you over the months we have been bonding … I love the way you tackle my Sharon moods and I find it so adorable your pabebe moments .

      Your resilience impressed me , You are a beautiful face with a very witty mind , compassionate heart and a sweet soul.

      You are as perfect with your imperfectness,

      Secure and confident despite of your insecurities

      A Mother, a sister, blitz competitor and a friend to your children ..

      The way you choose your battles is a reflection on how you face the complexity of life with a smile .

      Teh , you are love by many and admired by the few whom you allowed to share your inner self .

      For those of us who have witness your fire we feel lucky

      Thank you Teh for the friendship and Love …

      August 21, 2019

    • Journey towards Self Awakening : Discovering the Inner Strength

      Introduction

      Hello, this is very deep stuff to tackle… So let’s talk. I am no expert, but I know what it is to be in that place where you have fought a good fight and felt like you have given every inch of your strength. Yet the struggle still continues, as if the whole world is mocking you.

      Hey, pretty soul, lighten up!!! You are aware that at this point, it seems so dark, heavy, and the pain is unbearable. I have been there too, and the good news is it will just get better. And the pain will soon be bearable if we choose to step out into that battlefield to gain a better insight into the war we are fighting.

      Stepping out doesn’t mean walking away from the conflict.

      When we stay too long in the same situation, we are stuck in that view we have. We are convinced it is the only logical road to salvation. Sometimes it is very good to take a time out or simply take a deep breath.

      Stepping away means reassessing ourselves and the situation we are in. Why is this affecting you so much? How long would you like to allow such conflict to dominate you? Always remember, WE ARE THE SOLE NAVIGATORS OF OUR LIFE, and all that happens around us is our responsibility.

      When we are ready to redirect and refocus ourselves, we walk back into the battlefield with another weapon in our hands… The weapon of Positivity.

      Acknowledging your Weakness

      This is probably difficult because looking at the eyes of your weakness means looking at your failures and shortcomings. But hey, we have just discussed that we will tackle this with a positive attitude.

      Acknowledging your weakness means becoming vulnerable, and there is nothing wrong with it. I believe that there is no other way to build up our inner strength if we don’t know where our Achilles heel is. It is like when we have a weak back, we tend to exercise that more to make it stronger, or at school, if we are not so good with math, we then study the subject harder to have a better grade.

      It is the same thing with our weakness. Having a one-on-one date with him and getting to know him better means having a deeper understanding of ourselves and why we are reacting to certain situations. Being aware of certain precipitating factors helps us become the master of our emotions.

      Knowing our weakness means building up our Self-Strength.

      Visualizing our Strength

      Bear with me on this… I usually do this whenever I am in very difficult situations or when I am stressed and have had enough!!

      Sit down, be silent, listen to your breath, and close your eyes. Imagine that there is this little fire burning within you. Feel its warmth and find it… I usually find mine in the middle of my stomach. Touch the place where that flame is glowing.

      Breathe, now feel that the flame that you are touching, visualize the warmth that is exuding. This is your strength or courage or kindness, whatever it is that you need for that day.

      Let that flame glow brighter, let it ignite your whole being to the point that you can smile and tell yourself it’s going to be okay.

      Try this and find your innermost fire, let it burn and destroy all the negativities that your mind has.

      Lastly, Have a coffee with a Friend who understands the anatomy of Trust.

      In the book “Anatomy of Trust” by Dr. Brenè Brown, she has discussed the anatomy of trust and has given it an acronym, and that is ¹. BRAVING. So let’s have a cup of coffee with a friend who understands BRAVING.

      She knows the BOUNDARIES and respects them. She is RELIABLE and holds ACCOUNTABLE for her actions. A Vault that whatever we will tell her dies with her. She has INTEGRITY to choose what is right over fun.

      The next one is very important for me; she is NOT JUDGMENTAL about whatever story you will tell her, and lastly, she is GENEROUS to understand us.

      Our friends, the real ones, are part of our inner strength. A hug, a smile, or a nod is more than enough for us to know that we are not alone in this hardest moment.

      I have been through the hardest storm of my life… I have cried a river of tears, but at the end, I always humble myself down, talk to life, and thank him for the lessons that he is constantly giving me.

      A beautiful soul means she has survived through the toughest times, and she is not ashamed of sharing her scars, for she believes these are part of her whole being.

      For those of you who are struggling, discover that strength by knowing your weakness and limitations. When we know our vulnerabilities, we know where to find that glowing flame inside us. And believe that not all days are rainy days; the sun will soon rise.

      To my friends, my dolphins, thank you for always taking the wild ride with me without any hesitation. I am forever grateful.

      ¹ The anatomy of trust by Dr. Brenè Brown podcast Oprah’s Super soul

      July 22, 2019
      #happiness, #journey #travels, #journeychronicles #lifeinspiration #selflove #bravelife, #kindness, #love #relationship, #morningaffirmation, healing, inspiration

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    “When you go through a hard period, When everything seems to oppose you,… When you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, NEVER GIVE UP! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!” ― Rumi, The Essential Rumi

     

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